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Evaluation and Authentification

Self Assessment

The Final Major project of the second year is an important step as it signals how far I`ve come since the start of the first year. However, at the end of this project, I don’t feel as proud as I should. This is due to the project putting me under immense pressure and stress as I was constantly worrying about whether the outcome would be good enough for the show. As a result, my creativity and experimentation were hampered leading me to create something, while passable, not displaying all I am capable of. 

Something that has become a pattern in all my projects thus far has been a lack of practitioners that work within my specialist industry along with abandoning research almost entirely in the latter half. The FMP is no exception to this. Most practitioners I used either worked in collage or painting – which I could've taken in an illustration/ game's art angle. Unfortunately, I didn't and took it in a literal way, using collage for the main bulk of the experimentation. It would've been interesting to see development for a videogame that had a collage/jumbled/handcrafted style. However, some of the work I produced from this research was interesting, such as a little creature made from wire, tissue paper and glue. It was directly inspired from the work of Ivan Seal. I also did a quick reaction to Giorgio de Chirico using a photo of the Redhill library/ the Harliquinn. Though I never used them in experimentations, I have referenced a few games, two during the presentation of our ideas and a third during my essay. It's just a shame I didn`t go any further with the practice as it would've made for good practice. In FAD next year, I should endeavour to have better working practice in this area. 

The project concept I wrote was solid and vague enough that I had wriggle room to explore. However, it did not help with directing my work as, as soon I had written it, I promptly forgot about it and barely referenced it. What also didn`t help was that I believe that it was too vague, very noncommittal as to where I wanted to finish the project. This meant I had little to no direction which in turn meant I felt lost. Despite this it acted as a general explanation of my thoughts and the theme/issue I wanted to tackle, as well as what my views where of the project at the time. My bibliography is expansive and covers a great many media including books, T.V. and videogames. The planning had much to be desired as the most helpful version was written after most of the project had passed. Having some sort off plan would`ve made the project less stressful. The problem I have with planning is that it feels strange to do, specially at the beginning of a project. How am I supposed to know what to do in five weeks' time? In a couple weeks' time I might be doing something wildly different. It probably is something I can easily work my heard round in time for the next project. 

My research for the FMP is one of the better parts of is due to the detail I went into my chosen topic of amnesia. This meant I had a steady base to build my project on. It helps that I found the research interesting and informative whilst I did it, encouraging me to do more. Looking into the history of the uncanny along with possible reasons why we feel this in certain situations for my essay was a highlight of the project. Keeping to a theme/issue helped the focus of my work along with prompted me to be experimental as to how I could depict amnesia in a recognizable way. At the same time this focus led me to worry about whether I was depicting it well and ‘correctly’, slowing down the rate at which I created and experimented. One thing to do in the future would be to try to go out to see galleries or events, especially ones that relate to either the subject area of the project or my specialist industry. I did go out to see some things, but neither were that inspiring for me. The environment and sustainability didn’t factor into my research – purely because most of my work was digital. 

This project was the first-time exploring gifs/animation and whilst they can be frustrating to make it is rewarding to see them working, especially in the way I intend. To get to this point, I spent most of my time experimenting with collage and photo montage – combining family photos to create something new, as if the memories have become merged. I thought this aspect of the images was a way I could depict how amnesia could affect your memories visually and I believe it's effective. Due to effectiveness of the result I continued to do more until I reached a point of no progression in which everything I did, started to feel stale. So, to reinvigorate, I moved into Photoshop to work digitally. This gave me the ability to add filters and produce gifs and collages quicker. One idea that I had that I never explored was to create a stop-motion animation in a photo montage style, with cut out sections moving around and such. It is certainly something to keep in mind. All my practical skills and experiments are on WIX, with annotations explaining what I thought was effective as well as what I was thinking at the time, where I wanted to progress etc. 

Problem solving is an aspect of art I need to improve on as it goes hand in hand with experimentation and innovation. However, I avoided problems by dropping whatever was not working or to turn to a tutor or TA to basically solve the issue for me. This led to a disjointed development with an artificial progression – one that I forced. To problem solve I would need to be more flexible with experimentation along with taking risks which I find difficult and daunting. I am too concerned over whether what I produce would be impressive or help in some keyway towards the result – which I can't know in the moment. 

As I had no clear direction within my concept for the final outcome could be – other than simply ‘impressive’ – it's hard to say whether it helped. One thing that I'm sure on is that my visual language could be more relevant to my specialist industry of choice, games art/ illustration. Despite this, my work seems to be developing an individual style. Some of my most successful gifs are the ones that have combined illustration with photos. The clash of styes creates a sense that something is wrong. The gifs with blanked out faces do the same – as it the memories have been altered/ doctored. This project was no different to any others that I have done as I have completely neglected to consider an audience which I struggle with, probably because it means commitment. 

Though a little messy, WIX depicts my progress effectively, with annotation notes added when needed. The notes themselves give insight into what I felt was effective or not and my progress throughout. In the future I must remember to document my process – an example would be the gifs – as I only talk about the result, not the process itself. My presented work at the final show, however, I feel is lackluster and rushed. If I had planned as to what I wanted it to be or done more research, I would`ve ended up with an exhibition I felt proud of. 

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